


Especially Because of That

by Jotun_Half_Breed



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Boys Kissing, Conversations, Draco Malfoy Needs a Hug, Drarry, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Harry Needs a Hug, Hogwarts Forbidden Forest, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Loss, Love, M/M, Making Out, Neck Kissing, One Shot, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Post-Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Secret Relationship, Sirius is Dead, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23928640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jotun_Half_Breed/pseuds/Jotun_Half_Breed
Summary: Draco must have heard him, he wasn’t exactly light-footed, but he didn’t look around until Harry reached the tree, leaning against it and looking down at the other boy. He tilted his head back, staring at Harry with those beautiful silver eyes before giving a small sad smile and moving over slightly, patting the floor beside him.Sirius is dead, Lord Voldemort is back, Lucius Malfoy is in Azkaban and Harry doesn't know if his boyfriend will ever forgive him.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 237
Collections: Drarry Fics





	Especially Because of That

**Author's Note:**

> This summary has been in my head for quite some time, so here it is. I really hope you like it.

He strode along the grounds, avoiding the eyes of the people around him, who were basking in the summer sun, bare feet dangling in the glistening lake. As a few called out to him, beckoning him over, he shook his head and quickened his pace. He didn’t know where he was going. Sure, he had told Ron and Hermione that he had promised to visit Hagrid, but right now the last thing he needed was another person feeling sorry for him. He kept his course, not wanting to have to turn around and look stupid in front of the entire school who had, until recently, believed him to be a madman. He was feet away from the forest when he saw it. A flash of white-blonde hair reflected in the sunlight. He paused, searching for it again, and with the birdsong distracting him, it took him a heartstopping moment to find it. 

Draco Malfoy was sitting behind a tree at the edge of the forest, just beyond Hagrid’s pumpkin patch, his knees brought up to his chest, his expression pensive as he gazed up at the trees around him. He had evidently ditched the two gorillas he called friends, so Harry felt no hesitancy as he strolled into the trees towards him. The smell of pollen and herbs seemed to calm him, though it came with harsh memories, blood dripping from the neck of a dead unicorn, giant spiders scuttling towards him, a werewolf’s howl, hooves galloping towards them, the roar of an injured giant. Draco must have heard him, he wasn’t exactly light-footed, but he didn’t look around until Harry reached the tree, leaning against it and looking down at the other boy. He tilted his head back, staring at Harry with those beautiful silver eyes before giving a small sad smile and moving over slightly, patting the floor beside him. 

Harry hesitated, unsure of whether he should just leave now before he could do anything to make this situation worse. He scuffed his feet against the leaf-strewn ground. “Are you sure…”

Draco reached up and gently tugged him down by the hem of his robes, forcing him to slide down onto the mossy earth, his hip pressing against Draco’s, their shoulders fitting together smoothly. Draco’s familiar scent washed over him, strong only because he was used to it. Even through the small amount of contact they were allowed in this exposed space, Harry could feel that Draco was tense, as though he was waiting for a fight.

“The crimes of the father are not the crimes of the son,” the blonde muttered, his features turned away from Harry.

“Of course they aren’t.” Harry’s hand slipped into Draco’s and he squeezed it tightly. “We’re still good, right? I mean…” He sputtered out for a second before starting again, his voice audibly vulnerable. “I would understand if you didn’t… Your dad, I mean, it is my…”

Draco’s hand squeezed back. “None of this is your fault, Harry.” The use of his first name created a warm feeling in Harry’s chest. Draco had turned to look at them, their noses inches away from each other’s, their breath on each other’s faces. “My father did what he did and now he’s paying for it. Not in the way some think he should, but he is. He’s alive and that’s…” His voice broke. “ … that’s all I can really ask for. The same cannot be said for others.”

Harry shuddered, a tiny tear clinging to his eyelash, an invisible force catching his insides and squeezing. “I still can’t really believe he’s gone,” he breathed. “I keep thinking that he’ll walk in every time the door opens. I can’t… I only just got him back and now that he’s gone… I don’t want to believe it, you know?”

Draco gave a small nod, his grip on Harry tightening, his voice too understanding. “No one can expect you to lose the nearest thing you have to a father and be right back on your feet the next day, Harry. In my experience, healing is like making a particularly difficult potion. It takes time and the correct ingredients and you have to stir it just right before it can be complete, but it will be achieved in the end. But Harry…” His fingers traced along his stiff jaw. “... Sirius wouldn’t want you to stop living just because he isn’t here. He would want you to keep fighting and loving and being loved in the way only you can. He would want you to be the same silly git that tries to use an Unforgivable curse on Bellatrix Lestrange and the same arrogant toerag that thinks he can use Dolores Umbridge’s flu network and get away with it.”

Harry snorted and felt a grin forming on his face. “Did Ginny really get you with her Bat Bogey Hex?” he chuckled at Draco’s suddenly sour expression.

“I’m going to get her back,” he swore. “Once she gets out of the Hospital Wing, of course,” he corrected himself quickly at Harry’s warning look.

They both laughed softly and snuggled closer to each other. Draco’s hair was soft as it brushed up against his cheek. Harry felt like they could sit here forever, denying the events that had just taken place, safe in each other’s arms. He wanted nothing more than to kiss Draco, but he knew he couldn’t. Draco hadn’t answered his question and Harry wasn’t entirely sure he was forgiven or if he ever could be. 

“ ‘Arry?”

Harry looked up sharply to see Hagrid, standing in his vegetable patch, frown lines wrinkling his forehead as he stared at them. He felt Draco stiffen beside him and grabbed his arm to keep him from bolting or worse, trying to curse the Care of Magical Creatures Professor. 

“Is ‘e botherin ye?”

  
  


Harry smiled genuinely at his friend, shaking his head firmly. “I’m fine, Hagrid. Honest. We’re just talking.”

Hagrid frowned slightly before shaking his bearded head and getting back to work.

Harry pushed himself to his feet, taking Draco’s hand and dragging him after him as they moved deeper into the forest. They couldn’t stay there now that their hiding spot had been discovered. They didn’t go far, the centaurs wouldn’t want to see him in their territory again, not after Umbridge, but they didn’t stop until they were entirely hidden from view. Harry leaned against one of the trees, feeling the ivy under his back as he pressed his eyes closed, allowing Draco the opportunity to leave if he wanted to. But, when Harry opened his eyes again, the blonde was still standing there, a slight sneer on his face.

“You honestly think the oaf won’t tell on us?” he said snidely. 

Harry wrinkled his nose with indignation. “Don’t call him that. Hagrid’s my friend. He won’t tell.”

Draco sighed and rolled his eyes. “If you say so.” His eyes darted around them, obviously remembering the memorable time when they had entered here together in their First Year and for the first time, Harry noticed that his boyfriend’s eyes were slightly swollen, as though he had been crying.

“Draco,” he whispered apologetically. “I really am…”

He was cut off as Draco whipped around and shoved him roughly against the tree. “Shut up, Potter,” he growled, before giving a small mischievous smile and purring, “what do I have to do to make you sure that you are not to blame.”

His eyes flicked to Harry’s lips and he shifted closer, pressing his body flush to his. His hands slid from Harry’s shoulders to his face and then he was kissing him passionately. Their lips brushed, moving against each other in a well-practiced manner. Harry’s hands came to mess up Draco’s hair and Draco carefully slid his own hands down to Harry’s waist and around his back, pushing them closer together, his fingers brushing Harry’s rear. Harry smiled into the kiss, realising that his question was answered. He was forgiven and… they were good. After too short a time, their kisses slowed down and finally, they broke apart, pressing their foreheads together, their hands still on each other, as though they were scared to let go. 

“I love you,” Harry whispered tenderly, stroking Draco’s shoulder blades with the tips of his fingers.

Draco shuddered, the movement migrating down his shoulder and back until it came to earth, and it was his turn to sound vulnerable. “Even though I’m on the wrong side of the war?” 

Harry hugged his boyfriend closer to him, pressing his lips to his neck, knowing that soon they would have to break apart and rejoin their respective sides, they would have to go back to pretending to hate one another, they would have to go back to professing to be something other than they knew they were, soon they would have to fight one another. However, the war would end eventually and he silently promised himself that when it did, he would find the blonde. He would never give up on his capacity for good. Because he knew Draco better than anyone else. 

“Especially because of that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos if you liked it!


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